I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
