Where did you get a picture of my penis
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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