I hate your face
look no pants
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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