I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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