We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize
