update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
