I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
