If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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