how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
