So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Floor bacon is actually really good
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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