did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Umm I'm too high to move.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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