Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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