All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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