im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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