your room smells of hookers.
And success
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
