someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
