after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
