Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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