Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize