He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
