that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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