just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
