Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
honey bunches of taint.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
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