I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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