I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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