He had one of those small greek statue penises
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
