have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Randomize
