have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize