I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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