So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
