why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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