If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize