No subtext here. People are naked.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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