Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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