..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
