I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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