I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
