Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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