I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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