I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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