Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
