I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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