You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize