just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
my shit smells like andre
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize