there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
