Non-Jews are for practice
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
