I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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