FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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