i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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