My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
