I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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