it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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