do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
