Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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