Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
