I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
