i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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