capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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