if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
