I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
